All the Pieces
by Blackjack Gabbiani
Summary: Ken tries to cope with his dark side...and only Wormmon can help him


This is my first attempt at a Digimon fic, so bear with me. I don't know if this one is even legal, considering the song was never actually released. If you want to hear it, go to Dan's Boingo Page at http://www.boingo.com. Like (almost) all Boingo songs, this was written by Danny Elfman, whom you may know as the almighty gawd of film music.  
  
But anyway, hope you enjoy. This is, as far as I know, only the second Boingo songfic (the other one, a lemon called "Witch's Egg", has been MySTed by yours truely and can be found in the FF7 section) I am a true Boingoloid, and if anyone knows where I can find "Stay", their Brazil-only album, I'll be most thankful.  
  
  
All the Pieces  
by Blackjack Gabbiani  
lyrics by Danny Elfman/Oingo Boingo  
  
  
Go run  
Run and hide your pretty face  
Go far  
'Till you find a secret place  
Go run...  
  
  
Ken sighed and closed the book. It was hard now, keeping up with the expectations he had set for himself. He had somehow managed it for three years, but now that he was no longer the Dark Emperor...  
  
  
Inside  
You are paying such a price  
Inside  
No one else can run your life  
Inside...  
  
  
The Dark Emperor. Ken shuddered at the mere thought. "There's something inside me...he'll never be gone forever...just like I was a prisoner in his mind, so he is in mine...he could be released someday," he whispered.   
  
  
Think twice  
You are running out of time  
Inside  
Shattered by your own design  
  
  
"He was always a part of me, I just never noticed it. Maybe it's true that every child is jealous of their older siblings, but none of them to the extent that I was...and still am." Ken shook his head and stood up, beating a fist against the wall. "Sam!" he shouted. "Don't you know I'm still jealous of you! I'll always be in your shadow, no matter what I do!" Slowly, his eyes welled with tears, and he sank down the wall and curled into a ball. "Sam...I'm especially jealous of you now. I...want to die. All that time I wanted you to disappear, I never meant forever...that's what I wanted for myself. A flower planted in darkness can't grow, and that's what I am...I'm always in your shadow..."  
  
  
You can make believe that somehow everything is right  
You can make the pieces fit but you're just  
Jumping with your eyes closed from the fire  
Into the oven  
Show the world  
How much you've suffered  
Because after you've come all undone  
Set off like a loaded gun  
Someone's got to come pick up all the pieces  
  
  
The door creaked open, and Ken froze, thinking that his parents had come home early.   
  
"Ken?" Wormmon's sad voice asked. "Ken, are you all right?" The caterpillar poked his head around the side of the door.  
  
Ken sobbed. "Wormmon...it's back again. The sadness..."  
  
Wormmon crawled over and rested his head against his friend's leg. "I'm here...you can tell me anything."  
  
The boy stood abruptly, sending Wormmon reeling backwards. "I just don't care what happens anymore...I want my family to be happy, but that can never happen as long as I'm alive...but if I'm dead, they'll always be sad...GYAAAHH!!!" he screamed. "I can't get it out of my head! He's still there!! The Emperor...he's taking over again!!! Wormmon, you have to do it!! Kill me NOW!!!"  
  
The Digimon jumped forward. "Ken, that's nonsense! You know that he doesn't exist any more...and if he did, I could tell."  
  
Ken wimpered and threw himself on his bed. "You don't know ANYTHING about me! I've always been like this! My very first memory was standing in the door of my room...listening to Mom and Dad talk about Sam's latest achievement...and I wished with all my heart that he would disappear. Two years old and my life was already marked..."  
  
Wormmon shook his head and crawled to the top of the bedside table. "Ken...you wouldn't be the Bearer of Kindness if you didn't have a good heart. I know you can get through this. I'll help! We all will! Do you want me to call Davis or Yolei?"  
  
Ken sniffed. "They all need me...but only until the Digital World is safe...after that, I'll have no purpose in life. So I might as well start planning for the end."  
  
  
'Cause you  
Always run from what you need  
It's true  
Must be something 'bout the way you see yourself  
  
  
Wormmon made his way onto the bed and nestled himself in Ken's arms. "Ken, I know you don't want to die. I know your heart, and you're just scared. Let me help you, Ken. Because you're my best friend, and I love you."  
  
The boy wimpered. "You know the last time someone said that to me? That they love me? Mom told me that when I came back from Primary Village. That's it. They swore they'd be better parents, not try to make me someone I'm not, but they haven't. They LIED to me, Wormmon, just like everyone else has. I'm not a good child, I'm pure evil! I don't know why you see good in me, because it's not there."  
  
  
You took pity in the pride  
Inside  
It must hurt so bad inside  
  
  
Wormmon sighed. "Ken...they're trying. They really are. You know, if the other DigiDestined can forgive you, why can't you forgive yourself?"  
  
"You don't know what I'm really like. No one does, and it's tearing me apart...and it's too late now..."  
  
The insect-type gritted his mandible. "Ken, do you realize what it does to me when you talk like this? You're NOT evil! I stayed with you all that time because I knew that wasn't the real you! Ken, listen to me! I know the real you, and that monster wasn't you. THIS is the real you."  
  
Ken balled his fists and closed his eyes tightly. "What? The boy who wanted his brother to vanish from the face of the earth? The same person who spent his life trying to be someone he isn't? Even if you disregard everything I did as the Emperor, I'm still just...horrible..."  
  
  
Because every time you try to see things clear again  
You just run and hide and make things worse  
  
  
Wormmon wiped the tears from Ken's face. "Ken, there's a difference between who you really are and who you think you are. You're a good person, and I would have left a long time ago if you weren't good in you heart."  
  
  
You close your eyes and jump right from the fire  
Into the oven  
Run away  
When you're discovered  
Because after you've come all undone  
Set off like a loaded gun  
Someone's got to come pick up all the pieces  
  
  
Ken sniffed. "But I'm still...I can't make up for what I've done...not in this lifetime or any other...so why should I bother?"  
  
Wormmon exhaled slowly. "Ken, you've already made up for it. The Digital World hasn't been this nice since--"  
  
"NO!! I don't want to hear it! I just want to die!!! Oh God, let me die..." Ken sobbed. "But...I can't die...not until they're done with me. It's not even me, it's the Crest of Kindness they need...if they found someone else who could use it, they wouldn't need me anymore..."  
  
Wormmon stroked the boy's hair. "Shhhh...it'll be OK...I know it will...and even if that did happen, they'd still want you to be there. You're a DigiDestined, Ken, and nothing can take that away. But most importantly, you're my friend. And Davis' and Yolei's and Kari's...all of them think of you as their friend. Even Cody. Did you know that?"  
  
Ken whimpered. "I'm the worst friend in the world...I've let everyone down...I'm just..."  
  
Wormmon maintained his gentle touch as the sobs gave way to silence; Ken had cried himself to sleep as he had every night since the end of the Emperor's reign of terror. "Some day, Ken," the small creature whispered. "Some day, I'll make sure you're happy. We can leave this all behind and be happy..."  
  
  
From the fire  
Into the oven  
Run away  
When you're discovered  
Because after you've come all undone  
Set off like a loaded gun  
Someone's got to come pick up all the pieces  
All the pieces...  
Come pick up all the pieces..  
All the pieces...  
All the pieces... 


End file.
